The Sister sat solemnly with her eyes closed that evening. "Prayer gives me strength," she said, as she recounted the story of how she became a nun at the age of 18, when other girls her age dream of romance.
She was answering my question if later, in some moments, she ever doubted her decision. On the contrary, she said, as time wore on, she became even more convinced that she had made the right choice and even experienced a rare kind of happiness and joy.
"It is not the duration of prayer that matters, but the quality," she went on. "Even for one second, if you turn your mind to God, it is enough," she told me in the silence of the Catholic Enquiry Centre library, Bangalore, as I listened with rapt attention.
Outside, darkness had fallen and the clock chimed the closing hour of the library. I quickly selected a book and left. "Prayer gives me strength." The words rang in my ears as i was having dinner that night and later, as i lay in bed. The Sister's words kept echoing in my mind as i contemplated her story.
I suddenly remembered the forgotten copy of "A Prayer Book for All," somewhere in the pile of books that we had at home. It was given to me by one of the school fathers, many years ago. I fished it out the next day and began on a routine of simple morning and evening prayers.
I soon found that prayer was beginning to have a beneficial effect on me. I was meeting each day with a renewed strength and vigour and experiencing a sense of well-being and happiness. But more importantly, prayer was bringing about a complete change in my outlook and inner personality. I caught up with my long-neglected reading and discovered new authors, particularly inspirational writers of self-help books, such as Og Mandino, Richard Bach, Robert Fulghum and others.
It was around that time that i stumbled upon William Barclay's `More Prayers for the Plain Man'. I loved the way the author expressed his deep understanding of human nature and human problems, aspirations and frailties. The honesty, simplicity and universal nature of prayer had an instant appeal. I began reading one each of the 40 days' prayers everyday.
In his convincing introduction, Barclay describes prayer as "an appointment with God" and portrays an endearing picture of God as a friend. "Daily we should have our appointment with God... Prayer is keeping our friendship with God in constant repair," he explains. Prayer brings about an inner peace and calm an indescribable sense of well-being. It removes all mental and physical conflict creating a healthy body and a healthy mind.
Prayer instils positive thoughts in us about ourselves, our world and other fellow beings. It removes jealousy, greed, anger, envy and anxiety which are often the cause of our ailments and sicknesses. It is essential to pray not only for ourselves, but also for others. This leads to greater social harmony.
In the course of time, prayer arouses and sharpens our conscience that inner voice within each of us. Neglect of prayer dulls the conscience and leads one to the path of self-deceit and self-destruction. Barclay puts it succinctly: "Prayer does not do things for us. It enables us to do things for ourselves." Prayer gives me strength. That reminds me, it's time for my appointment with God!