My son's self-esteem is very low. He is not able to get a job, which makes things worse. I am worried. What shall I do?
Studies of successful people show that self-confidence is the most important factor in life. It can be easily understood by the stool model. Think of a stool. If one of its four legs is weak, the stool as a whole will be weak. The four legs represent self-confidence, that is generated by the following: Feeling good, taking responsibility, being accountable and developing skills.
Feeling good involves being authentic and not insincere. Our life is a struggle involving pretensions of what we are not and in the process we do not feel good.
A manager appeared to be busy on his phone and computer at the same time. Two persons sitting in front of him were waiting to be attended to. The manager continued pretending to be busy. Once he was satisfied that he would have made a suitable impression, he turned to them and asked what he could do for them. One visitor informed him that he had come to repair his telephone while the other said that he had come to repair his computer.
Why do we pretend? A pretending self creates false images in us and, ultimately, instead of boosting confidence, ends up lowering our self-esteem. Self-esteem will improve if the pretending self is dropped.
Responsible children invariably possess good leadership qualities. It is the duty of parents to inculcate responsibility in their children and make them accountable. Such responsibility motivates them to develop new skills. This, in turn, builds self-confidence in them.
A research study on various successful people proved that their success was not because of knowledge or family background, but because of their ability to see gaps in any given opportunity; just the way a creeper grows on tree trunks and creates its own path for growth.
The ability to see gaps or potential and work on those gaps is the real skill in successful living. For example, even a concrete bridge may collapse if it is repeatedly pecked by a sparrow at a particular spot a sufficient number of times.
Successful people adopt the right strategy at the right time in any given situation. Even in competition they do not create conflicts, but harmony. Successful people are able to see potential gaps in any particular business. Spotting these gaps and exploiting them call for a great skill. This is the strategy of successful people.
Keep yourself alive; rejoice to see the miracle around. See the gaps which opportunity invites to see. Cash in on the richness of life and see the dance of life. Feel good about the fact that you are alive.
During the rush for diamonds in Africa, there was a race to go there to try one's luck. One man sold his farm to go there and hunt for the valuable gems; he found none and lost all his money, too. The person who bought his farm found diamonds right there and became rich overnight. There are always ‘diamonds' of opportunity around us. Let us be alert enough to cash in on them. By Swami Sukhabodhananda