A few relationships which we feel are genuine are cut short when death intervenes. These relationships are transitory. If a person dies we might remember him and cry for him only because we were dependent on that person in some way. So we miss him. But once we learn to live without that person, we might even 'forget' him.
A permanent relationship can only be developed with oneself and that is possible with self-realisation. Upon self-realisation we would have true relationship with every living orga-nism and inanimate object as we will be able to see divinity in all creation no matter what response we get from them, as there will be no expectations.
A sadhu was rescuing a scorpion that had fallen into a pond. Every time he lifted it out of water, it stung him but he would not give up until it was saved. One of his disciples asked why he was persistent in saving the scorpion that stung him. The sadhu replied: "The dharma or nature of scorpion is to sting; the nature or dharma of a sadhu is to rescue a being from distress. So long as the scorpion does not give up its dharma why should i give up mine?"
The dharma of fire is to burn, of water is to cool, of wind is to blow. So, our dharma is to be humane. One should do one's duty even if faced with obstacles. A realised soul does his karma without any attachment to it.
There are three states of consciousness: the wakeful state, the dream state and the deep-sleep state. In the wakeful state you experience the external through sense-perception. In dream, senses do not function. The impressions formed by previous experiences are shaped into the likeness of waking itself. Whatever is deep-seated in our mind appears in our dreams, as if they are realities of the waking state itself. Dreams tell us about our vasanas or innate desires and we can correct our behaviour by introspection. In deep-sleep, neither the senses function nor the mind and we are completely cut off from the external world... When you have slept well you feel relaxed. Why? Because in deep sleep you are one with atman. But it is impossible to be always in a state of deep sleep.
For the jnani who is self-realised, all three states of consciousness are equally unreal.
But the ajnani who is ignorant, who is not self-realised, is unable to comprehend this, because for him the standard of reality is the waking state, whereas for the jnani the standard of rea-lity is reality itself. This reality of pure consciousness is eternal by its nature and therefore subsists equally during what you call waking, dreaming and deep sleep.
To him who is one with reality there is neither the mind nor its three states. His is the ever-waking state, because he is awake to the eternal Self; his is the ever-dreaming state, because to him the world is no better than a repeatedly presented dream phenomenon; his is the ever-sleeping state, because he is at all times without the "body-am-i" consciousness.
The true relationship is, therefore, with the atman and this is the blissful state. This is the true relationship we need to establish with our real self; every other relationship is temporal, selfish and therefore painful.
The writer is a college principal, Delhi University.