I am jealous of successful people. I am not able to enjoy my life. Am I miserable because I come from an unhappy home? There are certain aspects in life over which you have full control and there are others on which you have none. But you have to live wisely. What does this involve? Wise living would include accommodating both the controllable and uncontrollable variables of life.
You come from an unhappy home. You have no choice in this matter. But you have a choice not to be a victim of an unhappy home. I'll tell you a story: A father and his two sons lived in a single room. The father used to come home drunk every day and watch TV, disturbing his children at study time. The elder son concentrated on his studies while the younger son followed in father's footsteps. As adults, the older boy got an award for excellence as a citizen of the town while the younger son was imprisoned for a petty crime.
When they were interviewed, the younger son said, "I became like this because of my father, who created a bad atmosphere at home". The elder son said, "I attribute my success to my drunken father and the unhappy home atmosphere; i was determined to be different". The situation was the same, and the response, different. It is our response that determines quality of life.
Jealousy exists when one has not learnt to rejoice in the success of others. Jealousy also exists when there is unwise comparison. A man prays: "Lord, please fulfil my prayers. I will forever be grateful to you". The Lord advises, "Son, the more I fulfil your desires, the more you will be unhappy. Your being is in unhappiness. Focus on changing the state of your being and not on the fulfilling of your desires".
But the man insists and the Lord says: "I will fulfil your desires but with one condition. Whatever you get, the whole city will get double of it" .The man happily agreed. He prayed for a palatial house and next moment, he had one. But his happiness vanished when he noticed two palatial houses in his neighbourhood. This led to anger and jealousy. He felt it was his effort that pleased the Lord but others had reaped the rewards. He decided to teach them a lesson.
He prayed again, "Oh! Lord, please remove one of my eyes". Suddenly he found others had lost both their eyes. He felt very happy. The very next day he found all the people in his town had taken their lives. He was now lonely. The 'joy' of making the whole town blind was short-lived.
Tagore tells an interesting tale. A young seeker set out in search of the Lord. He met thousands of people. Many years passed. He reached the Himalayan valley. The atmosphere was inviting. He felt that could be the abode of the Lord.
He entered a beautiful cottage and found a board "God resides here". His joy knew no bounds as his search had come to an end. When he was about to knock on the door, an interesting soliloquy overpowered his mind. His mind said, "I have enjoyed my search all these years. The enjoyment derived from the search will come to an end, the moment I meet the Lord..."
If one can enjoy one's search and derive satisfaction from that itself, there is fulfillment. We have to teach ourselves to enjoy our search, our journey.