A wise person is said to have four techniques, both inwardly and outwardly —Sama, Dana, Bheda and Danda.
To deal with people and be wise, the first thing you use is Sama which means in a peaceful and understanding way. When that doesn’t work out, then you try Dana which means allowing it to happen and forgiving.
When people don’t recognise your generosity in allowing them space, then the third 
principle called Bheda comes in, it means to intentionally create a gap or misunderstanding. If a person still doesn’t realise that they have made a mistake then it is time to use the stick, Danda, the final approach.
The same four methods apply to your inner life, your Being. Sama — maintain the equanimity. Take both the good and the bad with equanimity. Dana means giving up that which disturbs you, that which cannot put you in the royal seat of equanimity.
It means to surrender the mind which is the cause of your sorrows, problems and misery. Dana includes forgiving too. When your mind wanders around, allow it to go. Follow it and bring it back.
Now comes Bheda- differentiate, separate the imperishable from the perishable. This very body is so hollow and empty.
When you are watching the body, pleasant sensations arise, unpleasant sensations arise. As you watch, they all disappear. Energy is oozing out of every pore of your body. If you watch, it flows in an even manner.
It creates balance. And you realise you are not this body or these sensations. You have been always reacting to the sensations. An emotion used to give rise to some sensation; the sensation, in turn, used to create an impression, another emotion.
So these circles of craving and aversion with sensation and emotion, made your life, both subtle body and gross body, and that took you from life to life.
Another thing that you can do is to disassociate yourself from the sensation. Then comes Danda — Danda means support. Determination and commitment are the Danda. Your spiritual discipline is Danda.
Mind is like a vine (creeper), it needs a support. Listening to spiritual discourses, satsangs, practice, Guru’s presence are all the support, the Danda.
It is Chetna and Chitta that is coming out of every pore of the body. The wick is the body and you are the glow. When you shift from the wick to the glow, your mind becomes stable.
Article By Sri Sri Ravi Shankar for more details on log on to www.artofliving.org